


Maybe

by irontallica666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester One Shot, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, SPN - Freeform, destiel au, destiel christmas, supernatural one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-27 22:31:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2709083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irontallica666/pseuds/irontallica666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas should be one of the happiest days for everyone.. but not for Dean Winchester</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot, made for a writing contest for @castielsbluehawaii on Instagram. The lyrics that are used in the video we had to do the fic about were "Maybe this year I won't be sad on Christmas, maybe I'll have a happy holiday".

“Dean!” Sam shouted. “Dean, I’m gonna go grocery shopping, do you need anything?” Dean looked up from the book he was reading. “Yeah, I made a list for the Christmas dinner, it’s on the fridge, can you get that for me?” he yelled back. “Sure, what’s it this year?” It was silent for a moment and then he heard Sam scream of happiness. “Dean you’re making the best dinner ever! I gotta go, see ya later!” Dean had barely said “bye Sammy” as Sam sprinted out of the door. Dean smiled. He had decided to make Sam’s favorite Christmas dinner, roast turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, a salad and of course a big apple pie.

He read on in his book. It was a good book, about a super hero called the Arrow. He saved the people in his town by anonymously going to the people who did no good for his city. But suddenly, the book turned sad. The Arrow had a team of 3 people who helped him, and in his team there was this special girl he liked. They had just kissed for the first time, and it was magical but after the kiss, the girl walked away, leaving him with the words “I told you, as soon as we talked about this it would be over.” Dean sighed and put the book away. He thought about the Christmas dinner they had 8 years ago.

 

  _“Guys, dinner’s ready!” Dean shouted from the kitchen, putting the food on the table. He heard stumbling and not much later, his brother Sam and his best friend Castiel came into the room. “Smells good,” Sam complimented. “Thanks Sammy,” Dean replied. “Sit down, Cas, you know it, any seat you like except those 2”. Cas nodded. Sam and Dean had explained to him earlier. Their mom had died when Sam was only 3 years old, and their dad couldn’t accept her death. He started drinking, practically leaving it to Dean to raise his Sam, 7 years old as Dean was. They kept it to themselves, not wanting any help, but after a year, someone found out their dad’s drinking behavior, and sent him to rehab. Sam and Dean were placed by strange people to raise them, but Sam didn’t let anyone come near him but Dean, and so, Dean was still the one raising him._

_When their dad got out of rehab a few years later, Dean was 12, Sammy 8 years old. Their dad had called them, telling them he was coming home, and he brought food with him for dinner. Sam and Dean went to their old house, laying the table for dinner, putting a plate on the table for their mother, as a reminder how much she had loved him and how badly they wanted to have her sit with them again. Then, the phone went off. “Hello, house Winchester, Dean speaking.” He listened for a moment and suddenly went pale as a sheet. “Yes. Yes I understand. Yes. Thank you for calling.” He hung up. “What’s wrong?” Sam asked. “Dad’s not coming home tonight, Sammy, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking at the end. “He never will be... He had a car accident, got overrun by a bus. He is…” he whispered, not wanting to say it. Sam started crying and dean hugged him, holding back his tears, trying to be strong for his brother._

_That night, a police officer came by, and took Sam and Dean with him. A routine started. A routine of the brothers, getting placed by strange people to raise them, running away and being found and placed somewhere else again. And all the time, Dean took care of Sam. It was his job. Dean had learned to drive by someone anonymous, and when he was 16, they took their dad’s car, which was still standing in the garage of their old house. They drove around in the Chevy ’67 Impala, not knowing where to go, stealing money for gas and food. They had driven pretty far, when suddenly they saw a bunch of bullies, hitting another guy. Dean pulled over and got out of the car. “Hey! Assholes! Yes, you!” he shouted, and started walking to the bullies. “How dare you, the 4 of you against only one?” He was angry, after protecting Sammy all his life, he couldn’t let this happen. “Says who?” one of the bullies asked, and he laughed. Dean felt the anger rising inside of him. “Says me,” he said, and punched the first bully on the nose. Soon, they were all fighting, but after a few minutes, the bullies ran away. “Thank you, no one has ever done such a thing for me,” a voice said, and Dean saw a guy, lying on the ground. He helped him stand up. The guy wore a trench coat, dirty from the ground, had a small smile and incredibly blue eyes that looked at Dean curiously. “Don’t mention it,” Dean replied, “are you okay? C’mon let’s get to Sammy. I’m Dean by the way.” He took out his hand. “Castiel. Castiel Novak,” the guy said and he shook Dean’s hand._

_That’s when their wonderful friendship started. Sam and Dean decided to stay in town and Dean got a job so Sam could go to school. Cas and Dean became best friends and the three of them often hung out. and so it happened Cas was invited to share the Christmas dinner with the brothers. The only dinner where they actually ate at the table and used plates, instead of the junk food they usually had. But that Christmas night, something happened. It was the 2 nd time Cas came over for Christmas dinner, and they had been friends for over 2 years. The three of them sat down as Dean had all the food brought in. “merry Christmas Sammy. Merry Christmas Cas.” Sam and Cas both said their wishes back and Sam and Dean whispered a small “merry Christmas mom. Merry Christmas dad,” and started eating. _

_After dinner, they did the dishes and sat outside to have a drink. The law said Sam was too young to drink, but they never obeyed any rules, so why should they obey this one? They drank their beer and talked about everything. “Cas, something wrong” you’ve been unusually quit this evening,” Dean said, looking concerned. Cas sighed. He had to tell them. “Dean… Sam,” he began. “I’m leaving.” He looked at the ground. it was silent for a minute. “What? Why?” Sam asked. “I… My brother who I live with is moving out of town, he said he has gotten another job somewhere else. Dean looked confused. “You can stay here, and live with us!” he said. “no,” Cas said softly. “He.. He doesn’t like you, he thinks I might be gay and he doesn’t want any of you to have a bad influence on me.” It was silent again. “When are you leaving?” Dean asked, afraid for the answer. “Tonight,” Cas whispered. “He wanted to leave earlier but I was already invited and didn’t want to ruin your dinner, so I begged him to wait till at least tonight.” Sam looked like he was about to cry. “I’ll miss you, man,” he said. “I know, I’ll miss you too.” Suddenly, Sam stood up, pulled Cas out of his chair and gave him a big hug, whispering his goodbye in Cas’ ear. Then he went inside, leaving Cas and Dean in silence. Dean stood up and walked a few steps, not knowing what to do. He didn’t say anything as he heard Cas footsteps towards him. Cas turned Dean around and saw the single tear on Dean’s cheek._

_“I’m sorry, Dean,” he whispered, not knowing what to do. “Dean,” he said softly and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a bracelet, but for men, made of leather. “I found this a while ago, and wanted to give it to you for your birthday, but I think this is the right time to give I to you.” Dean took the bracelet and put it on his arm. He touched it, then looked at Cas and hugged him. It was their first and their last hug and it felt great. They were still hugging as Sam walked outside. Dean remembered he was angry and pulled away. “For how long have you know this?” he asked. Cas stood silent. “For how long??” he asked again, louder this time. “A few weeks,” Cas finally answered. “God dammit,” Dean said. “And you never thought about telling is a bit earlier?” Cas looked sad. “Dean, I.. I-“ suddenly they heard a Cas pull over, and they knew this was their goodbye. “Cas,”  Dean said. “Cas, is it true what your brother thinks?” Cas looked at him. “Cas, answer me! I need to know!” Dean said as they heard the door and Cas’ brother, walking towards them. Cas’ and Dean’s faces were so close. “Yes,” Cas whispered, their faces only an inch apart. They felt each other’s breath. “Yes, he is right. I like you, Dean.” They looked into each other’s eyes, green into blue._

_“HEY. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!” and suddenly, someone took Cas away. It was Michael, his brother. “No!” Cas shouted. “Dean! Sam!” but Michael pushed him in the car and locked the door. “Goodbye faggot and brother hope I’ll never see you again!” he yelled as he drove away, leaving Dean and Sam to just stand there, watching their best and only friend leave._

“Dean, I’m home!” Dean snapped out of his trance. “Dean?” Sam came into his room. “Dean, you okay?” Dean refocused for a moment. “Yea I’m fine, just thought about something,” he said as he touched the bracelet. “you got everything?” Sam nodded and they went to the kitchen to put everything in the fridge.

Two days later, the whole house was decorated and Dean was in the kitchen, making Christmas dinner. “Dean I’m going for a beer run, okay?” Sam walked into the kitchen. “Smells good,” he added. “Don’t come in when I’m cooking!” Dean yelled. “And get that finger out of my food or you get nothing tonight!” Sam laughed. “Yea sure, I’ll be right back,” he said and went to the store. Dean stood there for a moment, just thinking about their lives. He and Sam were both working, having a house, not a big luxury one but it had 4 walls and a roof, and definitely spelt better than the Impala. If their parents could see them now, they would be proud. But even with the house and Sam by his side, Dean wasn’t happy. There was always something missing. Every year, after Christmas dinner, they would go outside, sit there and drink a beer in silence. Both thinking about Cas, how they missed him. After Cas had left, they never heard of him again, he never called or wrote. They had moved to another city, and the only thing left of him was the leather bracelet around Dean’s arm. Dean wore it every day. Every morning when he woke up, he would look at his arm and see the bracelet. Every night before he went to sleep, he would touch it, and think of the amazing friend Cas had been. He remembered Cas’ big blue eyes, how they had almost kissed. But they had never actually kissed, and that’s what made Dean sad the most. He never had a chance of touching those lips, never had the experience of kissing Cas, feeling the movement of Cas’ lips against his. He had dreamed about it, several times. But he never had the real feeling.

Dean sighed and went on making dinner. He had just done the last part when Sam came home. “Whoa, that’s a lot of beer, you planning something tonight?” he asked. “Nah, not really,” Sam replied with a grin. Dean knew he was lying, but didn’t ask. He wouldn’t get an answer anyways. They talked a bit until everything was warmed up, and Dean started to put the food on the table. “Jesus Christ, what the hell did you get so much food for? You know we’re only with two tonight, right?” he asked. “Yeah.. Actually, I saw someone at the store today and invited them for dinner tonight… Do you mind?” Sam asked, looking innocent. “Sammy… It’s Christmas… You know I wouldn’t mind anyone being invited at any time but… on Christmas?”  Dean sighed. “Dean, I’m sorry, I just though… I…” Sam looked down at the table. Dean saw a movement and for a moment he thought Sam was smiling, but he didn’t care. He walked outside, he needed to be alone for a minute. He breathed deeply, in and out. He couldn’t be mad at Sammy, never could. Suddenly, someone touched his shoulder. He turned around and…

“CAS???” he shouted to the man, standing there, still wearing the same trench coat as he did those 8 years ago. “CAS!!” he shouted once more, and immediately pulled him into a hug. He kept whispering: “oh my god Cas, I thought I’d never see you again.” And even a few tears rolled down his cheeks, “You want to come in?” he asked. Cas laughed and said: “Well, seems like a good idea since I’ve been invited here.” Dean looked confused for a moment. “Invited? What do you- SAMMY!” he ran inside where his brother stood, and hugged him. “Thank you Sammy, thank you so much.” Sam said nothing and they just stood there, hugging. Then, they remembered dinner, and they all sat down, whishing each other merry Christmas. It was exactly like Cas had remembered, the delicious food made by Dean, the happiness they shared, catching up the past 8 years, the empty plated of Sam and Dean’s parents, everything.

After dinner, they did the dishes and went outside. They talked more and more until Sam gave Cas a meaningful look, and went inside. Dean looked after him. “Where did he go? Something wrong with him?” and he stood up to go after his brother. “No, Dean, he’s fine. Something’s wrong with me,” Cas said. Dean turned around, looking worried. “What’s it?” he asked. “I wanted to go back for so long,” Cas said. “But I had no money neither a car, so I had to stay with Michael, and when I was finally able to get out, you two were gone.” Dean wanted to say something, but Cas interrupted him. “I went to search for you, asked everyone of they had seen you or Sam, and when I saw Sam in the store today, I was so happy. He told me you were doing fine, and at first I wanted to walk away. You were doing fine and I didn’t want to mess up your life. But then, I remembered something.” His eyes went to Dean’s arm with the bracelet, and he smiled sadly. “Dean… That night, 8 years ago, I made myself a promise.” He looked into Dean’s eyes. Dean looked back and saw the same expression in those blue eyes as they had 8 years ago. “Today,” Cas whispered, and Dean felt Cas’ breath on his lips. “Today, I came to fulfill that promise”

 

And that was the moment Dean finally knew the feeling he had waited for all those years, all those dreams. Cas’ lips against his, both moving, exploring that what they couldn’t do 8 years ago. That was the night, Dean Winchester couldn’t have been happier on Christmas.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to check my Tumblr irontallica666 any time for more fics, drabbles and SPN posts :)


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